Twin Flames

So you're spiritual now and you're dating your twin flame?

Isn’t it funny how once on the spiritual journey, no one is ever just dating anymore, but everyone is with their twin flame or soul mate?

I’ve been in the spiritual awakening game for the last 6 years and I don’t claim to have all the answers – far from it. In fact: the deeper I go down this particular rabbit hole, the more I know that I know absolutely nothing.

However, I can’t help but wonder where surrender ends and illusion starts?

Everyone I know who is on the same path as I i.e., is now only ever dating their twin flame. No one is just normally dating any longer, getting to know each other and ensuring they share the same morals and values in life. No! Everyone is very keen to buy into the holy grail of the twin flame journey and as a result of that, is apparently very willing to accept that this union will be a very challenging one.

Challenging? Maybe. Abusive? I don’t think so!

I’ve had countless conversations with various friends over the last couple of years, during which their current relationship status was discussed at length and the common thread of all these relationships was that they were quite frankly truly unhealthy and most of the time even border-line abusive, either mentally and / or emotionally.

The most shocking example of this was when I found myself in deep conversation with one of my (male) friends who had just recently broken up with his girlfriend aka the one and only twin flame over the last 4 years. He confined in me that this twin flame relationship was the most challenging one he ever had. For they triggered the shit out of each other, mirrored each other’s darkest and most unhealed places and that their fights were nothing short of explosive. To the point so, that most of their fights would actually become physical at one point, resulting in various bruises, two broken rips and one broken nose (!) over the course of that twin flame relationship on his part!

Say what?!

You can tell me what you want but let’s face it, before your spiritual awakening process if you had a friend that told you this, you would call the police and report his girlfriend, you would go to his flat and pack his bags, you would have him stay at your house and urge him to leave this relationship immediately! For quite clearly, this relationship is as abusive and as unhealthy as they can get.

But now, I’m finding myself needing to listen to stories that this is what the twin flame journey is all about. That it is difficult and very challenging, but it also offers the greatest possibility for your soul growth EVER and of course (my favorite): you simply KNOW that he / she is indeed your twin flame because you’ve seen it during a medicine journey, you felt it during meditation and your spirits told you so.

I’m calling bullocks to that!

We might like to think that we surrender to this challenging union and are following our soul’s plan, but where is the line between surrendering and falling into complete and utter illusion, denial and day-dreams? Has common sense left the earth plane?

It feels we are very willing, eager and keen to dress it all up as: “This is what your soul wanted to experience…”. Not only are we giving our power away, we also throw self-respect and self-love out of the window. We might all be one on a soul level, but on a human level: complete different ball game.

Here’s how I see it: getting to know someone, opening up your heart to them, getting intimate and allowing them to come closer and closer, allowing them to experience you in your most vulnerable places, allowing them to see all your unhealed darkness, truly takes all the courage one can muster. And it also takes maturity, ownership, self-love, self-respect and a whole lot of humbleness.

Daring to fully open-up your heart is definitely not for the faint-hearted.

So if it was me; I would rather be met with a lot of love, warmth, compassion, honoring and admiration if I dared to open up my heart like that, by a partner who is mature enough to be able to hold the space for me in all my unhealed topics, just as I am able to hold that space for him. It would mean that we are both proceeding with extra caution and that we would both make sure we’ll provide a safe space for each other. It would mean, that we value and admire the vulnerability the other person just dared to display and that we would both fight like lions for each other, to ensure our partner, the person we claim to love, would have space, time and support for his / her healing.

I wouldn’t want to be met by someone who instead constantly triggers the shit out of me, adds insult to injury, is cold and emotionally unavailable and is mentally, emotionally and / or physically abusive.

So I don’t care what label you want to give that, but I want the above. That’s what I want.

But then again, what do I know? I have taken myself out of the dating game almost a decade ago in order to concentrate on my own healing first and let’s face it, that’s a bit of a cheap excuse too in order to avoid needing to put myself out there again and try, isn’t it?

(Copyright, all rights reserved: Kashaya Templeton 2020)